In the silence, we learn the true nature of “self-doubt. The “word gap” created by rank differences and wise introspection to avoid blaming oneself.
A time to get away from the hustle and bustle of busy days and to be alone in quiet contemplation.
Private Wisdom is not only about spending time in a beautiful place. Listening to one’s own mind and carefully untangling tangled thoughts, “intellectual peace of mind” is also one of the greatest luxuries of our time.
Today, I would like to change things up a bit and talk about the loneliness and hesitation that many of us face on the battlefield of work.
Have you ever experienced a deep loss of confidence in your work, wondering if you are not worthy?
Especially in a field such as consulting, which requires a high level of intellectual production, the pain is acute and casts a deep shadow.
But is the suffering really caused by your inability to do so?
Let’s take a look at the mechanism from a slightly detached perspective, as if taking a deep breath in a quiet place.
The more advanced the site, the more likely it is to fall into the “A-Un Trap.”
There is a special atmosphere in organizations where professionals gather, or in places where leaders with high perspectives gather. It is a comfortable atmosphere of sophisticated communication in which people “understand without saying.
Conversation among high-ranking members is like a jazz session. With a minimum of words (instructions), the other party understands the intent and returns an output that exceeds expectations. This “A-Un breathing” is indeed a pleasant sensation that increases the speed and quality of work.
But it is this “habituation” that sometimes creates a cruel disconnect.
Instructions to disappear into the fog
Senior members, who usually work only with members of their own rank, unconsciously apply that “high context atmosphere” to junior members who are still inexperienced.
“Here, put this together nice.
“Give me a proposal that you think the client will like.”
For them, they can see the background and goal behind the words. For the recipient, however, it is like walking through a fog.
Essentially, in the inexperienced stage, the following two points are essential for a clear compass.
- Specific definition of output (what will the final product be – an Excel table, a PowerPoint slide, the text of an email?)
- Schedule resolution (by when and at what level of completion should it be submitted, should it be 60% done and shown once, or should it be perfect?)
Without this compass, the young talent is thrown out into the wilderness by the naivete (or expectation) of the high ranks that “he will figure it out.
System error in the name of “self-doubt.”
Tragic system errors occur when work begins with low resolution of instructions.
The receiver thinks desperately. “What does he mean by ‘nice’?” (The answer is “a good feeling,” but it is a question that has no right answer. However, the answer to a question that has no correct answer can only be found in experience. As a result, the output created by groping for answers diverges from the image in the supervisor’s head.
It’s totally different. How could you not see that?”
It’s not at the level I expected.”
The moment someone says that to you, the more serious you are, the more you turn the blade against yourself.
“I’m not good enough.
I’m not cut out for this job.
Let me offer one Private Wisdom perspective here.
It is not that your soul has lost its sparkle. It is simply a “structural error”.
You lost confidence not because you lacked ability, but because you did not yet know how to fill the “instructional vacuum” created by the gap in rank. Just realizing this fact should bring a little tranquility back to your mind.
Structural Reform” for Wise Adults
So how do we adjust our minds and behave in the midst of this structural absurdity?
It is difficult to change the other party, but changing our own “way of accepting” and “questioning” is a “small luxury” that we can do from this moment on.
1. try to “translate” before blaming yourself
When your supervisor is giving you fluffy instructions, don’t blame yourself for not understanding. Instead, be objective and say, “This person is now in a place where the oxygen is so thin, like high altitude training, that he or she has forgotten the language on the ground.
Then, have the courage to ask for “translation.
- Can you share with us any similar material from the past regarding the image of ‘nice’?”
- I’ll just start with a skeleton in an hour, so let me make sure we’re going in the right direction.”
This is not a question of incompetence, but a noble act of professional “goal resolution”.
2. sign a contract in the name of “expectations
The more anxious you are, the more you should stop before you get to work.
When and in what condition will you get it out? This consensus (grip) is the shield that will protect your mental health.
Running with ambiguity is like going into the forest without a map. Spend time on getting a compass first.
3. set aside time for introspection
When you are busy, close your computer, make a cup of coffee, and take a deep breath.
Ask yourself, “Why am I in pain right now? Is it really my fault?
Those few minutes to regain an objective perspective are the key to breaking the negative spiral.
Private Wisdom-like Summary
When we sip a glass of wine at a bar with a night view, or open a book in a quiet study, we are not seeking mere rest, but a “return to ourselves. What we are looking for is not just a rest, but a “return to ourselves.
Loss of confidence at work is another state of self-doubt.
If you are hitting a wall at work right now and doubting your self-worth, please remember: you are not alone.
It is not that your value as a person has been shaken.
It was just that the difference in where you stood (rank) made it harder for words to reach you.
To understand the structure and have the intelligence to calmly bridge the “gap.
This may be the “Quiet Luxury” strength that an adult businessperson should possess.
May tomorrow’s work be just a little bit clearer and quieter.
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